Crime pt1

[repo222]

 The dark, redvelvet-like blooddrop splashed on the floor. In real life, it would only be a tap like sound, but I heard a drum beat. These were the signs of a murder.

 My name is Tommy Gustavo. Im a italian, self made money maker. Well, I do get a little help from my gang. Im a mafia member. The mafia, family owned business, is a top gang of New York. The mafia is owned by my uncle Frankie.
if u want to read the rest, please comment because i want to know how good i did. Tank you

 

[repo222]

hehe.....

[Mr. Fox]

post the rest so I can read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Declan_23]

Not bad, you may want to check your grammar and word order a little.
Here's an edited version:

The dark, red, velvet-like blood drop splashed on the floor. In real life, it would only sound like a tap, but I heard a drum beat. These were the signs of a murder.

 My name is Tommy Gustavo. Im an Italian, a self made money maker. Well, I do get a little help from my gang. Im a mafia member. The mafia, a family owned business, is one of the top gangs of New York. The mafia is owned by my uncle Frankie.

But all in all, I would love to hear more

[Frenchfry]

Not bad, you may want to check your grammar and word order a little.
Here's an edited version:

The dark, red, velvet-like blood drop splashed on the floor. In real life, it would only sound like a tap, but I heard a drum beat. These were the signs of a murder.

 My name is Tommy Gustavo. I'm an Italian, a self made money maker. Well, I do get a little help from my gang. I am a mafia member. The mafia, a family owned business, is one of the top gangs of New York. The mafia is owned by my uncle Frankie.

Double fixed.

[repo222]

sure thing

[Frenchfry]

Now get to work on the next installment. I like watching writers develop.