Pokémon Universe > Quests & Plots

[Quest-medium] Cleaning Up.

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Darien:
OK here is my Improved Version.

Well you are in Sinho, and your in Veilstone ,and this Man and lady are Pacing around frantically, so you talk to one of them and then they tell you about these thief's, that came in with there diglets and dugtrio. and trashed the restaurant   and stole 5,000 Poke-dollars. and then they tell you that there is a Health inspector coming to judge there Restaurant. and then the health Inspector comes and say's." what is this mess". they say it was the thief's, but he doesn't believe them and says that he is going to shut the place down. and then they ask you if you can find the thief' and bring them back. you say yes. and then they give you clues where they might be. and then your off.

Stuff that happens on the Quest in order.

Well the clues they give you lead to this old lady that got push by the thief's. and then she tells you that they went to the forest and then you go and you see them on the out skirts of the forest. and then you beat the first witch has. 2 diglets. and then the second guys has. two dugtrios. and then you beat them and bring them bakc. but then on escape's and then you bring the guy you have. and bring him back to the restaurant. and then you go look for the other guy and then baet his dugtrio's. and then you bring him back to the restaurant. and then the Judge come's and then he say's he won't destroy the restaurant. and then she ask's you to get some cleaning supplies. and the stuff she ask you to get is

A bucket of water. from nurse joy.

A broom from the Pokemart.

a bar of soap from the gym leader. i there town.

and then she cleans up the restaurant. and thanks you and then give you.

1,000 Dollars.
Poke Flute.
Luxury Ball.
2 Rare candy.
Moon stone.

and the Poke-Flute helps you get to the next city. Because the is a snorelax blocking the path. and it give you a chance to catch a snorelax.

so there it is new and improved. hope you like.

Sincerely: Darien

Jerry:
For the pokeflute, you should keep in mind that it should not be essential because PU will not be a linear game, that is you won't have obstacles to prevent you from going anywhere you want, anytime. (eg, I can go to the town with the highest gym leader anytime, even if I have no badges at all, provided I survive the high levelled wild pokemons on the way there).

Before I decide whether it's a good quest or not, I have some things that bug me here:
- instead of 'pacing around frantically', the man and the woman would rather be cleaning the restaurant as fast as possible. I think they can fetch the things they need by themselves, right? The required items are not far away.
- rewards need to be revised. Too much for a 'medium' quest.
- I wonder how the man and the woman gave you clues to lead you to an old lady whom they don't know and have presumably never seen?
- Health care inspector cannot close down a restaurant because of a mess, but give them a delay to make it better.

My suggestions to make your quest better:

Instead of inspector, you can make it a judge. I'm thinking along the lines: There is a contest going on about the best restaurant in the region. The judge is going to visit the restaurant soon and two thieves ransacked the restaurant. The owners are desperately trying to put everything back to normal but need help to do so in due time. You are to fetch more people around in town, get more brooms, mops, etc from the PokeCentre. And while they are cleaning the restaurant, you need to find the two rascals and take the stolen money back.

The owners tell you get went in a westwards direction and disappeared there. You run there and find an old lady standing still, looking towards the forest. If you talk to her, you'll ask her what is the matter. She'll tell you two bandits pushed her a while ago, and she doesn't know how to teach them to respect their elders. You get into the woods, and find the two thieves caught up in a swamp/cannot go further because they got lost. Either way, you battle them. Then, a policeman arrives saying that they were informed by the restaurant's owners that thieves may be here and they were further helped by an old lady at the entrance of the forest. The take the loot from the thieves and entrust it to you to give it back to the restaurant owners.

Back at the restaurant, you give the loot to the owners. The lady pull [reward] from the loot bag, thanking you for your help. The woman then asks you a last favour, to help them finish with the cleaning. [The screen goes black briefly and when it comes normal again, the restaurant is fully restored]. She thanks you again and wish you good luck for your journey. As you step out of the restaurant, the judge arrives and checks the restaurant. [now you can decide of the decision of the judge, whether or not the owners won the contest, or are ranked within the best restaurants in the region].

Phosphorous:
Darian, like Jerry said you can't put a snorlax just laying around anywhere in an MMO.
Also the rewards are too good for this quest. Like the "Moon Stone" ? Where did that come from ? It has nothing to do with a restaurant or story line, so i suggest keeping rewards somewhat close to the story line.

Also why would a gym leader have a bar of soap or even care about the restaurant?

Anyways I think you need to revise your quest a little more.

ANNDDD Jerry you rewrote the quest so much that it's basically yours now xD

Jerry:
::blush::

Thanks, I rarely have time to think about quests, but when I read one... I get some inspiration.

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