Pokemon Universe MMORPG
Creative Discussions => Fan Fiction & Writing => Topic started by: LeoReborn on August 12, 2010, 10:39:27 PM
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Another Day past, another Dream to see Kara. I felt my mind slip into a floating sea of shadows. A light shone forth.
"Leo, Its me."
"Kara, How've you been?"
"Im great, but I have an urgent subject to bring up. Take a look at the Shard you gave me. Is there any difference?"
"Yeah, I was clear before. Now its...Sapphire Blue. The exact Shade of blue as Layla's Eyes..."
"Exactly, Now look at your Shard, Leo."
"Emerald Green, Just like yours..."
We both looked into the others Eyes, as Kara, then I Smiled.
"I noticed something else too, Kara. They both have that same curve...and they look Precision-Carved."
"Our Spirits shaped them."
"Wait. If we align them so the curves touch, then it looks as though something is meant to fit inside."
Kara reached into her pocket, and pulled out a Silvery marble, shining in many colors.
"This is a Mana Orb, They are common in the spirit world, but extremely rare in the Human World. If one is there, it means an angel or roaming spirit dropped it. Its Aura is literally completely full of magic. If all 3 items were fused to the ring, and Layla put it on, I would live on in her. My thoughts and hers would be apparent to the other, and our voices would blend. Our hair would be wavy, as hers is straight, mine Curly. The eyes, Leo, would be Sapphire blue on top, Emerald Green on the bottom, and there would be a Blend toward The center."
"Ok, I'll do it"
"Its almost time to leave, Everything will stay with you, as I gave it to you. She must be willing, if she isn't, The magic will fail, and I'll be sent back. Wake up now."
It was morning, of course.
"Layla, I had a dream last night, and Kara was physically in it."
"Really, How did it go?"
So I explained to her, about Kara's Wish.
"I dont know, what if I don't like it? Im starting to think you are only going through with this to see Kara."
"No, not just that. I wont have to be alone anymore, wondering about her. She'll be with you, This way, I'll have much more time to be with you, Layla, because I love you. I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You reminded me so much of Kara, and that couldn't have made you a better person. If you dont like it, you can slip off the ring, and She'll leave."
"Okay, as long as you are Happy, That's all that matters."
So, I went to the jewelers, and the same man who fused one shard to my ring was still there.
I asked, "Hey Renny, can you add more to my ring?"
"Sure, what did you have in mind?"
"I wanted these on it too. The Shards like this, with the ball in the center."
I handed him the other Shard and the Orb.
"Here, Take Care."
"You too, Renny."
I paid for the fusing, then walked home.
"Layla, Here it is."
She Slipped the Ring on her finger, Then recited an incantation.
"I bear this ring as a token of acceptance, I allow a past voice to dwell in me, The spirit of Kara, a friend whose life was severed."
A flash of Green light. Then, exactly as Kara had Described, except Kara was taller. Layla's new form was awoken..
"So....Leo, what do you think?"
"Even though your voices are one, I can tell it was you, Layla. I love it, you look beautiful."
My eyes were filled with joyful tears, I Took hold of Layla, and ran my fingers through her wavy, Jet Black Hair.
"I love you,"
Both Kara and Layla Spoke.
"I love you too..."
------End------
Same as its always been, for fans.
Comment
Rate
Improvements
Yadda....
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Wow, I was right, it was longer.
Pt. III Done
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I love it :)
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I know, its mostly Dialogue.
However, There is a reason for it. I did that, to elaborate on Layla, She is a main Character, as are Kara and Leo.
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I read them all... Speechess.
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I wonder how Layla's are gunna take this ;)
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I wonder how Layla's are gunna take this ;)
No offense, but can you clarify that?
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Sorry Layla's PARENTS. I mean if I came sharing my body with some dead person my parents would be freaked.
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What About Kara's Parents =P ::)
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Kara's parents would probably be happy and creeped out like "She's back from the dead! It's a miracle!" and "She's back from the dead!?!?"
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Maybe I could make a Sidestory: Explanations.
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Maybe ::)
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Wow/Lol That would be funny!!
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PART 3 ALREADY?
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Opinion?
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PART 3 ALREADY?
Whatcha Mean, "Already"?
It took like a week to write whole thing!! (Well, I will check to be accurate)
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Its been like a hour and a half
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1: I meant The trilogy
2: I said I had Pt III already in meh head, just needed to type it.
3: August 10th was Pt I
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I'm not gonna lie, I liked the first part more than the last two.
Although, this is probably because I prefer realistic stories without magic and such.
Not to put you down though, everybody else seems to like it :D
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I hate to admit it, but I thought They got worse as they went.
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I like stories with dialogue, fav so far!
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Well, this is turning into what I feared. I didn't tell it explicitly the last time, by saying 'Kara has an interesint character' (or similar, I don't quite remember exactly, and not much time to go look back). She seems to have something like 'evil' in her which is growing very very slowly.
First, she didn't know anyone but Leo.
She was disappointed by the answer of Leo. She perhaps took it the hard way round.
She thought that she would be relieved with the one she loved next, and did everything to be with him again, thinking that she would be happy.
But then, she realised it was a mistake, and tries to come back to Leo (by all means again), manages to convince Leo, without showing him consequences of his actions. (well, it is always said that if someone tries to break the frontier between the living and the dead, serious consequences will occur, like some sort of gate was opened for evil spirits)
In the final part, she enters the body of a girl, Layla and it seems that her plan is to take control of her slowly, until she gets total control over Layla.
Just some speculation from my part, of how I'm seeing it coming, how I might turn the story if I were to continue the story ;)
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Thats not what I Intended.....
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Yes, sorry I let myself go a little astray. This is what I came up with and as I said, it's complete speculation. It might not be what you intended to. Don't take it badly, your story is good, it's just that I have this little ability to try to come up with a different way of interpreting stories if only part of it was told. Don't stop because I said those, what you wrote were wonderful! And if you 'force' me into one 'way' the story is going, I won't get the change to make such speculations :)
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Yes, sorry I let myself go a little astray. This is what I came up with and as I said, it's complete speculation. It might not be what you intended to. Don't take it badly, your story is good, it's just that I have this little ability to try to come up with a different way of interpreting stories if only part of it was told. Don't stop because I said those, what you wrote were wonderful! And if you 'force' me into one 'way' the story is going, I won't get the change to make such speculations :)
Its unlikely that I will add anymore to this series, not because of what you said, Jerry, but for the reason, I already decided I wont elaborate on this Series further.
However, I may begin something else, so keep an eye open.
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I will keep an eye open! I love your stories! =D
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There is a severe lack of explosions here. We are not amused.
Anyways, the speech format made this installment 2076% easier to read. I don't, however, think that the *two becoming one* concept was built upon enough. I mean, just like that, she agreed to have a long-dead girl's soul coexist in her body?
Let me expand on this:
We humans are very dark creatures. We think, do, and say things that would make Virgin Mary roll over in her grave. Hell, someone had access to my innermost thoughts, and could, if they wanted, make me tell people them, nobody would ever speak to me again. Our minds, stupid as it may sound, are our only rightful and unbreakable vaults. Even the sweetest little child has thoughts hidden in there that would make grandmothers cry, and they have a right to keep those to themselves.
With your writing skill, I'm sure you can gloss over this with a little effort, though.
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Its a LOVE Story. If you want Explosions, Watch The 2nd Transformers Movie.
Im not altering it so you can amuse yourself via "Visualing someone Exploding"
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Its a LOVE Story. If you want Explosions, Watch The 2nd Transformers Movie.
Im not altering it so you can amuse yourself via "Visualing someone Exploding"
...You... know I was joking about that part... right?
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Its a LOVE Story. If you want Explosions, Watch The 2nd Transformers Movie.
Im not altering it so you can amuse yourself via "Visualing someone Exploding"
...You... know I was joking about that part... right?
*Another Kunai Hits a Tree Near Fry* Yeah, I know.
Speaking of Explosions, It seems I keep buying Paperbombs, instead of Regular Paper. Go Figure.....So, Yeah.... *boom*
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*Puts explosion and firey results in bottles*
*Crosses fire and exdplosions of list titled "Operation Ninja*
So, when does we expect part four?
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Yes, sorry I let myself go a little astray. This is what I came up with and as I said, it's complete speculation. It might not be what you intended to. Don't take it badly, your story is good, it's just that I have this little ability to try to come up with a different way of interpreting stories if only part of it was told. Don't stop because I said those, what you wrote were wonderful! And if you 'force' me into one 'way' the story is going, I won't get the change to make such speculations :)
Its unlikely that I will add anymore to this series, not because of what you said, Jerry, but for the reason, I already decided I wont elaborate on this Series further.
However, I may begin something else, so keep an eye open.
You Don't.......
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Yes, sorry I let myself go a little astray. This is what I came up with and as I said, it's complete speculation. It might not be what you intended to. Don't take it badly, your story is good, it's just that I have this little ability to try to come up with a different way of interpreting stories if only part of it was told. Don't stop because I said those, what you wrote were wonderful! And if you 'force' me into one 'way' the story is going, I won't get the change to make such speculations :)
Its unlikely that I will add anymore to this series, not because of what you said, Jerry, but for the reason, I already decided I wont elaborate on this Series further.
However, I may begin something else, so keep an eye open.
You Don't.......
.........................
*shoots the clerk*
*Pushes building over*
*rips someone's head off*
Oh. That reminds me of something.
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Enlighten me. Frylock.
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Enlighten me. Frylock.
It reminds me that I'm ANGRY!
...And I was planning on gracing all you childrens with my awe-inspiring writing skills sometime soon.
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I wish you would, because it would wisen us up, and make betterment in our souls.
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This thread has seriously gone astray :o