Pokemon Universe MMORPG

Creative Discussions => Fan Fiction & Writing => Topic started by: LeoReborn on November 30, 2010, 04:22:24 AM

Title: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: LeoReborn on November 30, 2010, 04:22:24 AM
Pt 4
Twisted Heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel a Love/Hate thing going on. I love her. She hates me.

I was tutoring some kids younger than me, after school. I liked it, it gave me something to do, and I felt good knowing I was helping others. I as on my way home when I saw her. She was walking in front of me, then she almost half-cringed, half-tripped. She spun around, and gave me a glare, "What is your Problem?"

With a confused smile, "I'm going home, not that I'd consider that a problem."
"You follow me everywhere!"
"You think so? Maybe I just happen to have something to do, and its not like we are separated by a mountain. We live across from each other."
"So that gives you an excuse to stalk me?"
"I don't stalk people. Believe me, I don't."
"Whatever, I was right about you."
"If you hate me that much, I can take a different route, say...off a cliffside."
"Look, I don't like you, but I don't want you dead."
"Ok then, I'll just go the usual way, this way."
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: Viper on November 30, 2010, 04:34:29 AM
Is it really necessary to make a whole new thread each time? Cant you limit it all to one thread?
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: LeoReborn on November 30, 2010, 04:39:33 AM
I find it easier, instead of hunting through the thread to find it, its at the top.
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: Viper on November 30, 2010, 04:41:25 AM
Well then just make a new thread and reserve how many spots you want.
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: Jerry on November 30, 2010, 07:47:06 AM
And... you could make the little parts a little longer... like merging part 3 and 4 wouldn't hurt... escpecially if you made them close enough, referring to time.
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: LeoReborn on November 30, 2010, 02:46:51 PM
Well then just make a new thread and reserve how many spots you want.

Easier said than done.

And... you could make the little parts a little longer... like merging part 3 and 4 wouldn't hurt... escpecially if you made them close enough, referring to time.

Problem
Merging two parts of a story, good idea.... however, not so much when the POV changes.

So, A new part arrives on point, with either a change in perspective, or major time lapse.



No offense, but it seems like you guys don't read these individual segments.
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: Jerry on November 30, 2010, 07:11:23 PM
Well, to be honest, it's getting a little boring... after your two previous unfinished works, this one seems like some repetition in some way...
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: LeoReborn on December 01, 2010, 02:04:40 AM
it is funny... I FINISHED them. I decided not to addon to Year 13, It was already at that point. The point where I stopped
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: Jerry on December 01, 2010, 07:35:40 AM
[EDIT: Right, you finished the first one, I'm sorry for that... :( ]

Really?

I know, I have been neglecting Year 13 lately, I will try to finish it and post the rest..

In the wait, I have a side-story for you guys.

...


I thought that they could be further exploited... :-\ Okay.
Title: Re: Out of Reach I Chase Her Anyway. <4>
Post by: LeoReborn on December 01, 2010, 11:22:21 PM
I thought they could too, but I realized I was adding onto something that was already done.

The idea is not to keep adding on, but stop when the story ends.

I may not finish this series for I have a story with a higher priority, because its about what Ive actually experienced.