You get to be a double balance tester.

Pretty much this.

@Noah: 

John started to gather up his gear - and gear up what he gathered.
He tip-toed around the house as best he could in case there were any more hot blondes in the place.

Creeping into his room like a ninja with his Brain-splattered Frying Pan (+1 Int!), he surveyed his resources. His wardorbe was the home to his clothes. The floor was the home to his most favourite clothes.

John settled on wearing jeans for two reasons - denim is pretty hard to bite through (he tested this himself!) and it was slightly chilly outside.
For his upper-wear, John carefully picked out a his favourite T-shirt with a hilarious slogan on it, and an old rain-coat. He wasn't sure how protective it was, but it most certainly tasted awful - so, if a zombie took him down, at least it would get a mouth full of rubber.
John also considered that the raincoat with its bright colours would warn other survivors in case he was zombified, and his excellent shirt would absolutely make him the most memorable zombie around.

John considered that maybe his bright colours and awesome shirt might attracted unwanted attention from the dead - but he quickly shrugged this notion off. If they're targetting any colour, it's probably naked human colour.

John scoped out his room and decided to take the toy he tripped over previously - its inclination for toe-stubbing and banana-peel maneuvers possibly a boon in the future (actually John just thinks the toy is damn cool), and a game he cherished as a teenager - "Super Undead Police with Chronologically Themed Methodologies", it had a cool story about a young boy who, faced with a disasterous plague, joined a time-themed police task force.
The game was a little useless, but, at least the title was somewhat straightforward.

John left his room, and wandered through the hall a second time. He noticed an awful lot of blood - considering he didn't cut himself when he fell earlier, and the kitchen is still quite far away in blood-travel terms.
He opened the bathroom door, because inquiry is always the best line of action in these scenarios - to find himself face to face with ANOTHER ZOMBIE. HOLYcrapGETBACK.

John jumped backwards, closing the door again.
He honestly couldn't imagine how a stray zombie got in there, but, well...
Okay he still can't.

At any rate, its not a huge problem. Turns out zombies have poor dexterity when it comes to twisty knobs.
That or they favour their left hands.
Can't rule anything out just yet.

After much wielding, testing - and then discarding of would-be weapons, John found that he favoured his knife and frying pan at this point. The frying pan can almost double as a shield, and the knife has tasted the blood of many a creature before. Mainly chicken. And honestly if the knife has no real qualms with raw chicken meat, it's already more combat-ready than John. Raw chicken meat is not John's most favourite thing.

John finally felt ready to leave the house - he walked into his garden, and was immediately hit with the stench of spring-time flowers. They were very lovely, but he couldn't shake the gentle aroma of bad things happening to good bad various people of a variety of moral inclinations.

He gazed down his street southwardly - marking many ghouls. John swore there was a suitable internet meme for a general approximation for the number of ghouls, but it slipped his mind.

Looking northwards, there were fewer ghouls - this was probably John's best bet.

Looking upwards, there were LASERS.
IN THE SKY.
LOTS OF THEM.
While certainly odd, John generally decided to leave these alone for now.
He'll deal with them if/when he needs to.
Focused light. Psh.

---

John's health: 35/100.

John gained the trait 'Ominous Oblivious'!
John gained +1 Penchant for Non-Generalisation! (1/20 Unhatched Chickens Uncounted)
John gained +25 exp!

John Picked Up:
   - Bright Raincoat
   - Hilarious Shirt
   - Denim Jeans (+1 Bite Resist)
   - Trippy Toy
   - Self-Referential Video Game

John still Has:
   - Kitchen Knife
   - Brain-Splattered Frying Pan (+1 Int)
   - TV Remote

John is Hungry! 5/250.

Damn, okay.

Sigh... *brings Delibird*

So is this an Ubers tourney?

Will I have to counter Grachomp, Blaziken?

Is Ninetales Uber yet?

Quote from: Noah_Road on September 13, 2011, 01:30:34 PM

Unless its scarfed, Infernape isn't gonna outspeed a +2 Volcarona.

I doesn't need to :PBy the time Volcarona get's 2+ it's ready for a Extremespeed knockout.

Does Infernape get Extremespeed in Gen V?

It will be different to the Nintendo games - but I can't go into it much more than that at the moment.
You will also get EXP for quests I believe.

EVs will be implemented differently - they will have the same effect, but you won't grind certain Pokemon to get them, you'll get them naturally.

IVs will be similar, but will be less random.

Rare Candies / Exp Shares may not be in the game.

I haven't played non-PU Pokemon in a while - my maths might be out honestly.

I'm gonna be thinking like "Oh man, a Butterfree, better switch out", when... well... it's sort of laughable in normal Pokemon.

John woke in the morning - yawning loudly as he stretched like a cat. It was just a normal day of a normal week for him, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.  Nothing at all.
He remembered he wasn't alone in the bed however, so he slinked out carefully to avoid waking the beautiful blonde partially on top of him.

Leaving his bedroom, John accidentally tripped on a lame childish figurine he kept from his childhood, that had fallen off the shelf over the course of the night - he caught himself on the door, which creaked under his weight. The blonde lifted herself up off the bed, and sauntered down the hallway after him.

The pair made their way into the kitchen - where John started gathering a variety of cooking utensils - he fixed his guest chops with his kitchen knife, and eggs with his frying pan, displaying masterful knowledge of cullinary techniques.

Once his guest was adequately dealt with, John moved to his loungeroom - giving a wave to his neighbour who was mowing the lawn, and, finally turning on the TV, settled to plan out his day.

At least, that's how John wishes he could tell the story.

What happened in reality was that John woke on an especially unique day in a very historic week of the year. He screamed as he discovered the zombie perched on top of him - and narrowly avoided the ex-woman's grasp as he fell out of bed. He tripped on the lame toy, and near broke his jaw on the doorknob, letting out a thud that alerted his undead neighbours. He ran down his hall, panicked - while his assailant shambled after.

Bursting into the kitchen, John picked up any sort of weapon he could find. He'd seen movies about the living dead - there's never a peaceful option when corpses come a'knockin'.
Wielding a kitchen knife and frying pan, he clumsily engaged in a very biased fight with the ghoul - narrowly claiming his life as winnings before vomiting over the organs he had exposed on the re-corpsed corpse.

He proceeded into the loungeroom to see his neighbours clumsily shambling through his yard - and then checked the door. It was unlocked. Damn it!
Diving over his sofa, John did what he should have done at 2am the previous night and spat in the eyes of youth deliquents everywhere.

John feared the glass back door would be only a temporary fix for the issue though, so he turned on the TV - listened to about half a Public Service Announcement and then rashly resolved to GET THE chansey OUT OF THIS HOUSE.

But at least he could say that he woke up with a blonde on top of him.
In fact, he could almost say... she was drop dead gorgeous. Ohohohoho.

---

John's health: 28/100.

John gained +1 Bragging Right!
John gained +1 Freakin' Sweet Alterego!
John gained +25 exp!

John Picked Up:
   - A kitchen knife
   - A frying pan
   - A TV Remote
   - A blonde zombie (Ohohohoho.)

John emptied his stomach! 5/250.