Ok, so something like two or three years ago (in class in highschool), I was bored and started writing the only story I have ever finished (though sequels are on the way). Last year I went back to it, and decided to type it up onto the computer, as well as update some of the material.
This is just a copy/paste of the story that I uploaded from my computer, so I haven't actually edited the text or anything. Please excuse my lack of grammar, or punctuation, or capitalization, etc.
Also, I recognize, you won't know any of the actors I chose to play these characters, but you can use your imagination.
Oh, and yes, I do actually want to film this one day.
i was previously uploading this to the internet, while using HTML coding, but eventually there was a problem, and i have checked and rechecked the coding and everything should be fine, so i decided that it would just be easier to eliminate the HTML stuff and upload it to facebook. (plus then i dont have to waste time typing HTML anymore)
so i will instead be typing this into a word document and be uploading one scene at a time.
remember this is just a fan work, and when i finally get around to filming it i will create a full credits list of all the people and companies i ripped off... i mean referenced and parodied.
the current cast list is as follows (in order of appearance)
Link: Marshall
Lawrence: Lawrence
CH2: ______(i still haven't selected someone to do this characters voice. if your interested let me know) (preference will be given to people with smaller or no parts)
Andrew: Andrew
Michael: Michael
CH4: ______(i still haven't selected someone to do this characters voice. if your interested let me know) (preference will be given to people with smaller or no parts)
Alysha: Alysha
CH7: ______(i still haven't selected someone to do this characters voice. if your interested let me know) (preference will be given to people with smaller or no parts)
Holly: Holly (my dog)/Jordon (voice actor)
Zelda: Jessica
Kirk: Kirk
CH9: ______(i still haven't selected someone to do this characters voice. if your interested let me know) (preference will be given to people with smaller or no parts)
Gannon: Curt
Evan: Evan
Vegeta: Vegeta
Nappa: Nappa
Jordon: Jordon
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Zelda Movie Script
THE NEW LEGEND OF ZELDA
You know you have been playing too many RPG's when...
Opening credits
Tennis
Link uses the wiimote and attachment
Lawrence might use the wiimote (if not he will use a real racket)
Try to get shots over the course of the day (mourning, noon, evening, night, and (different weather if possible)
End game with a casual farewell
Title screen
Music (from the link song by system of a down)
Intro (explanation from "A Link to the Past" about the generations)
Link getting on to a bus, riding the bus, and getting off the bus
While introduction is playing, the background should be dimmed
Fade to black
Fade in with Link walking into his bedroom (wii is in the room with one wavebird attached to it) (Link does not make notice of the wii)
Link lies down on bed
Voice: Link!
[Link searches the area, but finds nothing] ( [] <- denotes text on screen)
Voice: Link!
(Link searches the room again and see's the wavebird receiver blink every time the voice calls out. the voice is calling out every so often)
(Screen fades out)
Scene 1
[*lets not waste a lot of time on introducing the plot; it's The Legend of Zelda, how many different plots can there be?*]
(Screen fades in)
CH2: Link! I am C-H 2; rank one. The evil lord Gannon kidnapped my brothers, you must help them!
Link: What?!
CH2: you have been chosen by the gods, you must help us!
Link: I don't understand! Why am I helping you?
CH2: Holy crap! Your ancestors never questioned their tasks, they never said a word!
Link: That's because my "ancestors" were a bunch of mindless mutes!
(Screen cuts to a clip of Link from the Zelda parody on YouTube, the one revolved around the high school and the dance)
CH2: come on, the fate of the world depends on this, who knows what Gannon is planning to do to my brothers?
Link: who cares?
CH2: I do! What can I do to make you understand?
Link: will you shut up if I agree?
CH2: yes!
Link: Then I'll do it. Now, what do I have to do?
CH2: my brothers have been scattered across this land, one is in the Forest Temple, one is in the... what are you doing?
Link: You said the Forest Temple right.
CH2: Yes! There you will need to fight terrible monsters, and solve difficult puzzles to move on through the many rooms and finally kill a dangerous creature to gain access to the room my brother is being kept in
Link: Yeah... um... screw that, it's a forest; I'm getting my dad's Chainsaw
CH2: ...
(Link leaves the room and goes into the garage where Andrew is working)
Andrew: Hey!
Link keeps walking
Andrew: [*Hey Link! *] Where are you going?*]
(As this appears on screen, Link looks between Andrew and the bottom of the screen a couple of times)
[*I just finished your sword and shield*]
(Link slaps Andrew)
Link: (sternly) No! No!
Andrew: (grunt)
Andrew: [*what the hell?!!*]
Link: (slaps Andrew again) (sternly) No! Stop it! Speak boy!
Andrew: (glares) Fine! I just finished your sword and shield, follow me and I'll get them for you. (Andrew starts to walk off)
Link: Umm... I never asked for a sword or shield.
Andrew: But you're a hero, chosen by the gods, descendent of the hero of old, you must have your sword and shield! Come here!
Link: ...
Link: (walks over and receives the shield
Andrew: Now where's that sword? Hmm... Why don't you go for a walk, and I'll look for it.
(Link walks off out of the garage and down the street)
Andrew: Where are you going?
Link: What? You just told me to go.
Andrew: Aren't you forgetting something?
Link: Oh the chainsaw. Thanks for reminding me.
(Walks to one of the walls)
Andrew: Huh? No! You just got an item...
Link: (mumbling) you’ve got to be kidding me!
Link: (Link holds shield over head) [*you got the nunchuck shield*]
Link: [*Use it to deflect attacks by pressing the Z button*]
Link: What?!!
Andrew: Remember, when you wish to use it, hold the z button, otherwise it will remain in your inventory
Link: (sarcastically) Z button, right! Of Course! (tries to use it but fails miserably)Seriously???
(Just rerun scene, don't film again)
Andrew: Remember, when you wish to use it, hold the z button, otherwise it will remain in your inventory
(Link annoyed, and dumbfounded look presses Z and the shield quickly swings into action)
Link: Ahhh!!!
Andrew: Good! Now you're ready. Good luck!
Link: (as he walks off) Uh huh?
(Sighs)
Andrew: [*Good-bye!*]
(Link stops for a second, and then heads off again)
END OF SCENE 1
Scene 2
Link is walking by the soccer field, and see's Michael practicing his sword fighting, and then Link tries to hurry off in the opposite direction)
Mike: Link wait!
(Mike starts running off towards Link)
Link: Ah, crap! (Turns around pleasantly) yeah?
Mike: I just got a new sword, I stole it from... oh never mind! Anyway, I hear you’re on a quest!
Link: (Link mutters under his breath) how does everybody know that?
Mike: It's on your nametag.
(Camera cuts to a name tag on Link's chest that reads: "Hello my name is: Link (on a quest)". Link angrily rips the tag of his chest, crumbles it up, and throws it on the ground)
Mike: Come here, you’re in no shape to fight like that let me teach you. You ready? Good! Now do a shoulder role! (Link obediently does one) Excellent, now, by pressing and holding Z lock onto that tree. (Again, link obeys)
Mike: Perfect, now you can walk around, jump and strike while always staying focused on your target. Try it. (Once again, Link does so) Good! I think you’re ready to try your sword. Here! (Mike hands Link the sword.)
Link: How did you get this? I thought Andrew had it!
Mike: Hey, who do you think you are? Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney? Lay off eh! I have a sword, and Andrew doesn't, end of story!
(Mike stares blankly)
Link: Umm... aren't you going to tell me how to use it?
Mike: But you haven't obtained it yet!
Link: Huh? What? Sure, I have, it's right... oh... (Sarcastically excited) You obtained the Hero's sword, swing the wiimote to equip and use it.
Link: [*You obtained the Hero's sword, swing the wiimote to equip and use it.*]
Mike: Lock on with Z and then swing the sword to do a normal slash
(Sarcastically excited, Link does so)
Mike: And finally, wave your nunchuck shield to perform a spin slash.
(As Link does so, he goes from sarcastically excited to shocked at the pull of the sword)
Mike: Great! Now you’re ready to practice fighting.
(Link becomes scared as the screen fades to black. As the screen fades, back in we see Link and Mike equipped with shinai's and Link looking around confused)
[*READY*]
[*FIGHT*]
(Pokemon Elite Four music plays. Improv fight scene, Link finally wins, and jumps at Mike who is on the ground {finishing strike} screen fades out and back to the way it was before the match, with link finishing his strike with his sword, and Mike standing by watching confused. Link looks up at Mike)
Mike: Great, your finally ready to go on your quest, you can find me at my home if you ever need me. (Mike leaves.)
(Watches as Mike walks off and then walks in the other direction.)
(Film continues till Link is out of sight, but is fast foreworded till then.)
(Speed resumes with Link looking down at the ravine. Animation for "skip to next chapter")
Link: Finally I've reached that things brother.
(It doesn't matter when, but at somepoint while in the ravine, Link will suddenly stop, and turn into the bushes, where he will find a briefcase. as Link opens the briefcase the music for opening a chest plays. Link pulls out a little folded piece of paper in the shape of a 3dimensional rectangle)
Link: [*Congradulations you found geocache*]
(The Wavebird receiver is seen lying on the ground and boss fight music is initiated as the camera zooms in on a dandelion. Link pulls out his sword and shield and ready's himself. The camera goes between the dandilion and Link a few times untill Link relax's and puts down his sword, pulls out a pocket knife, walks away and cuts the dandilion. The music ends)
Link: Why are the first bosses always so easy? It actually makes me wanna cry that whole civilizations are threatened by them!
(Link picks up the wavebird receiver and holds it above his head as the screen fades to black)
END SCENE 2
Scene 3
(As the screen is still black, words appear)
[*Have you ever noticed how inhumanly fast Link can drink?*]
(Screen fades in with Link on the internet reading the "42" group on Facebook)
Alysha: Link, there's a blinking light telling me to return its brother, climb a haunted lighthouse, fight ghosts "with a sword", risk my life, and find another blinking light to bring back here
(Link looks at Alysha as if she is crazy)
(Alysha looks at Link as if he is crazy)
Alysha: Are you on crack?!!
(Link looks at Alysha astonished and insulted)
Alysha: Really! Something about all that doesn't sound right!... (Then very matter-of-factly)...I think we should have you tested!!
Link: (Angrily) Get out of here!!
(Link closes the internet so the desktop can be shown. Link then gets up, walks toward his bedroom to lie down on his bed, and looks at the blinking light. Alysha stands in the doorway waiting)
Link: Go away!
(Link gets up to walk to the door, opens it and Alysha can be seen leaving, Link then closes the door and returns to his bed)
Link: (angrily) what?!!
CH2: My brother!
Link: What about him? I have him right here!
CH2: Place him beside me.
Link: Huh? Fine!
(Link places CH4 into the second slot of the wii)
CH2: Thank you
(Link grunts)
CH4: (enthusiastic if possible) Hello, and welcome!
Link: This is my room!
CH4: Not anymore! Now that I'm here, it's my bachelor pad!
Link: I'm unplugging him!
CH2: No, he's the only one that knows where CH7 is
Link: Then he can tell me, and then I'll yank him
CH4: But I already took the blue pill!
Link: yeah? Well this is as far down the rabbit hole as you go
CH4: ah! No! We need to be together for our power to work properly
Link: what power?
CH2: the one that lets us know where Gannon is
Link: I'm sure I can find a way that we won’t need him yet
CH4: yes, but why?
Link: (annoyed) where's your brother
Ch4: so I can stay?
Link: for now
CH4: All right! Commencing virus download!
Link: Oh, that’s it!
(Link jumps up and as he rushes towards CH4, he pushes anything in front of him out of the way)
(Screen cuts to black (not fads))
[*this scene was deleted due to: violent nature, graphical violence, crude language, mature content, and its complex conclusion that would be far too difficult for the average person to understand, and definitely has nothing to do with the scriptwriter being too lazy to come up with anything*]
(screen fades back in on a bloody and beat up Link breathing heavily with the Master Sword either in hand, or at his side. the Master Sword should be bloody too(CH4 should look bloody and beat up as well if possible, but we don’t see this until the screen cuts to him talking)
Link: well now that we've finished that amazing fight scene with explosions, CG monsters, castle sieges, and Death Stars, I will ask you again: where is your brother? The one who is going to be less annoying than you are if he doesn’t want to be written out of the script?
CH2: Actually, you'll find him much more annoying! You’ll see! And to find him you must climb a haunted lighthouse, fight ghosts, with a sword, risk your life, and find another one of us.
Link: yes, I've already heard all that. But WHERE? Wait! I thought you said you didn't know where it was
CH2: where HE is, and I don't! I just know it's he's in a haunted lighthouse where you must fight gh---
Link: Stop! Please, for the love of god stop! Where is it?
CH4: The Mars Lighthouse in Prox
Link: I see. Huh, I wonder if anyone will get that reference?
CH4: probably only a few people. But now that everyone knows it's a reference, there's probably going to be a lot of annoying people asking in the comments: what were they referencing at such and such a time?
Link: you know we could probably solve that problem by just telling them, or putting it in the video description.
CH4: Nah, let’s let them figure it out. I hope that they'll realise if they type in 'Prox' and 'lighthouse' into Google, something will come up
Link: I hope so, people can get annoying when they ask what song or anime was playing at whatever time.
CH4: I agree, and you know what? Let’s make everyone’s lives a little easier. for all you people who do that while watching AMV Hell, if you go to the AMV Hell website, it lists ALL of them, in order!
Link: I hope that works
CH2: ok guys settle down, let’s get back to rescuing our brother
Link: rather than referencing the world wide-video streaming-web? Ok! Huh?... I wonder!... uh... can you guys be destroyed?
CH4: yes, but only by a powerful magic, the one Gannon is after, the one we must stop him from getting
Link: hmm?... so I can't hurt you by any physical means?
CH4: no
Link: what about your brother? The one in the tower?
CH2: he's protected too. You couldn't hurt any of us if you tried. Unless you possessed the 'golden power
Link: so desu ne?
(Camera must be sure not to show Link at this point)
CH4: why do you ask?
(As the camera goes back to Link, Link is shown talking on his cell phone. also, Link is no longer bloody and beat up, the master sword is back where it should be, and when we go back to CH4, he too is back to normal)
Link: yeah, thanks, that’s a big help. So, how's the wife? Yeah? Well that’s nice. Oh, I hope you guys have fun! Oh sorry, I got to go, but give me a call when you get back and we'll hang out, and really, thanks for doing that favour for me!
(Link hangs up the phone and returns to talking to CH4)
Link: I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
CH4: I was asking you why you wanted to know if we could be injured
Link: oh right, that. No reason!
(The screen cuts to the scene of a nuclear explosion)
CH2/CH4:...
CH2: You know your predecessors had more respect!
Link: You know my predecessors didn't have nukes!
CH4: well are you going to go get him?
Link: are you crazy?! I'll get radiation poisoning! I'll send Andrew
(Link walks over and opens the door, Andrew cannot be seen)
Link: Hey Andrew
(From somewhere unseen)
Andrew: yeah?
Link: Could you come here for a minute
(the camera should stop recording at this part, giving Andrew a chance to come into view, once Andrew is in position the camera should start recording again, and the song that is played in Zelda games whenever a secret is found should be played, thus giving the feeling that Andrew just magically appeared. also, Andrew should be holding a mysterious bag in front of him)
Andrew: yeah?
Link: I have a really fun, big-boy job for you. You see those two blinking lights? They lost their brother and cannot get him back themselves. Do you wanna be a BIG hero?
Andrew: yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Link: okay! go to our city's tower, there you will find a smoking crater, in that crater should be another one of these guys, find him, and bring him back okay?
Andrew: okay!
(As Andrew says his next line, he opens the bag releasing a bunch of red balloons)
Andrew: Tingle Tingle Kooloo Limpa!
(Just like before, the camera should stop recording and only start again once Andrew's gone, so that it looks like he magically disappeared)
Link:...well he should be back soon, where to next?
CH2: Your generation is the laziest I have ever seen!
CH4: But they do seem to get the most done!
(Link looks thoroughly pleased with himself)
Link: so where to next?
CH4: we are unsure; we will need to wait for our brother
Link: I see, in that case I think I deserve a break!
(Link opens a Kit Kat)
CH2: You have been working very hard!
CH4: hasn't he?
CH2: …
(Andrew runs in and pushes Link out of the way to get to the Wii and plug in the receiver, after doing so, he jumps on the bed and stairs at the receivers like a cat or a dog, eyes wide, just watching and smiling expectantly)
Link: Can I help you?
(Andrew looks at Link still pleased, shakes his head violently, and then returns to staring at the Wii)
Link: Then get out!
(Andrew looks at him still pleased, shakes his head violently and then returns to staring at the Wii)
Link: Ugh!!!
(Alysha walks into the room)
Alysha: Link! Look at you, you’re so skinny! Here, drink your milk!
(Alysha hands Link a glass of milk, preferably in a glass jar, and Link downs it)
END SCENE 3
