Pokemon the next generation

[Desbear]

this is my first fan fic please give me your opinion on it                                                                                                           
                                                         
                                                         Pokemon
                                                 The Next Generation

Chapter(1)
   “I wish I had Pokémon.” Thought Saul. “Even Richard has one.”
   Saul was your typical teenage boy. He was 16 and was just now old enough to go on his journey to challenge the Pokémon league, he remembered his parents talk about how they went on their journeys when they were 10 but since then a law had been passed barring anyone under the age of 15 to start their journey because of increased crime rates. He would have started earlier but he wanted to find his Pokémon instead of having it given to him.
   He was walking through the forest like he did many times. He was kind of depressed. He really wanted to start his journey but he didn’t want his first Pokémon to just be handed to him, he wanted to catch it himself.
   All of a sudden he stopped and listened. “That’s odd. I thought I heard something.” Said Saul to himself. “Maybe I’m just hearing things.”
   “Ralts! Ralts!” He jumped at the sound and started to run in its direction.  “It sounds like a Ralts! And it sounds like it’s hurt!”
   As he neared the source of the sound Saul slowed down to a slow walk as to not frighten the Ralts. He continued forward and pushed through some brush to reveal a clearing. As he stepped into the clearing he saw what was making the noise. In the middle of the clearing there was a Ralts. It was hurt and looked like it needed to get to a Pokémon Center soon. He started to walk forward slowly to help. “Its okay. I just want to help.” He said calmly trying not to scare it. But before he could get to the Ralts an unseen power came and lifted him into the air.       (“No.”) He heard a voice say. He looked and saw the source of the voice and saw a Gardevoir walking into the clearing. (“You will not touch my daughter!”) The Gardevoir said. It was a really strange thing but ever since he was a baby he had this ability to understand Pokémon. [Therefore for the convenience of storytelling we will put all things said by Pokémon in between () thank you and enjoy the story- Sincerely the Writers.] “Please let me help! She needs to get to a Pokémon Center! All I want to do is help!” Saul said trying to convince the Gardevoir. (“How can I trust you?”) The Gardevoir asked. (“Please Mom! I sense now malice in him. Let him help.) The Ralts intervened. (“Okay.”) The Gardevoir agreed and gently set Saul down. “Thank you.” Saul said as he began to pick Ralts up. (“But you better bring her back or I swear Gallade and I will hunt you down and ground you into-“) The Gardevoir started but was cut off by her daughter. (“Mother Please! He will bring me back and its not like he can actually understand you anyway.)          “Um… Actually I can understand you. I can understand all Pokémon.” Saul said nervously. (“Oh. Well you better be off then. You need to get to the Pokémon center quickly.”) The Gardevoir said slightly embarrassed.
   

Saul ran all the way with the injured Ralts in his arms to the Pokémon Center in his home town. When he got there he burst into the lobby and runs to the front desk. “Nurse Joy! Nurse Joy!” He said as he got there. “What is it Saul?” asked the town’s nurse Joy. “This Ralts is hurt and needs help!” Saul said urgently. “Calm down Saul. She’ll be just fine.” Said Nurse Joy as she took the Ralts. (“Thank you.”) Says the Ralts weekly as she Nurse Joy carries her to the medical ward. “You’re Welcome! I’ll come to visit!” Saul called after the Ralts. That night he called his parents and told them he was staying at the Pokémon Center that night. [This wasn’t seen as odd since he often stayed to help Nurse Joy and her Husband Brock with the Pokémon when it was too busy for them to handle by themselves.]


   The next day he asked Nurse Joy how Ralts was doing. “She is doing just fine. You got her here just in time.” She answered. “Do you know what happened to her?” He asked since he was in too much of a hurry to ask Ralts. “She appears to have been attacked by a rather powerful and aggressive Pokémon.” Answered Nurse Joy. “Thank you. Can I go see her?” Saul said. “Yes she is in this room over here.” Nurse Joy said as she led Saul down one of the hallways. As they went down the hallway Nurse Joy stopped at one of the doors and opened it and motioned for Saul to enter and then left to attend to other business.
   “How do you feel?” Saul asked Ralts. (“Don’t ask someone in a hospital that.”) Said Ralts with a look of disgust on her face. “Why not?” Asked Saul puzzled. (“Because by the time you ask it that person has already been asked that a few hundred times by the nurses and doctors.”) Answered Ralts. “Oh. Guess I didn’t think about that. Sorry.” Saul apologized. (“Its okay.”) Said Ralts. Saul looked around the room and a tried to see if there was something he could do to help but couldn’t find anything. “Is there anything you need?” He asked her. (“No. Nurse Joy has taken good care of me.”) She answered. “Oh. Well I guess I will just go then.” Saul said a bit disappointed. As he turned to leave he heard Ralts say something. (“Wait! I c-could use someone to talk to.”) She said. “I can do that.” Said Saul as he pulled up a chair and began to talk to her.
   They talked for the rest of the day and part of the night after Saul called his parents to tell them that he was going to stay the night again. That night Nurse Joy had Brock bring a cot into Ralts room and let Saul sleep there.


   The next day Nurse Joy came into the room to tell them some good news. “You are all better Ralts. You can go home now.” She said Happily. “Really? That’s good news.” Said Saul as Nurse Joy gave Ralts a final checkup. After she was done Saul was just about to take Ralts back to the forest and was talking to his best friend in the lobby before he left [he never left the Pokémon center without talking to his best friend Clifton since Clifton’s dad was Nurse Joy’s husband.].  “Hm… That looks like a rare pokemon.” Said a voice from above the sky light. “Oooo. Your right.” Answered a second voice. “Well what are we standin here for? Lets steal it!” a third voice answered. Saul was just about to leave when an explosion ripped away one of the skylights. Through the smoke he saw two figures land after jumping through the hole. “Prepare for trouble. Make it doubl-“ the figures started but were cut off by Saul. “Just get on with it you team rocket wannabees!” Saul said. “How dare you?” yelled the team rocket wannabees. “Who are you and what do you want?” asked Clifton. “We are the rebuilders of team rocket, Jamie and Jessabelle.” Jamie answered. “Well you’re not taking any Pokémon here!” said Clifton. “That’s what you think! Meowth jr.! Now!” Yelled Jessabelle. Suddenly a there was a large BOOM and a net shot out from the hole where the skylight had been and caught Ralts. “Ralts!” Saul yelled. (“I’m not going that easily!”) Ralts said as her eyes began to glow. “H-hey!” Yelled the red haired Jamie as he was picked up by Ralts’ psychic attack. “that’s it Ralts! Throw him into his friends!” Saul told Ralts. (“Got it!”) Ralts Said. “W-wait! Lets talk abou- oof!” Jessabelle started to say but got the wind knocked out of her as she was bowled over by her brother. “Good job you two! I’ll handle it from here.” Brock said as he ran into the lobby. “Go Steelix!” Brock yelled as he released his star Pokémon from it’s ball. “Use Hyperbeam!” Yelled Brock. “Ahh ahh ahh!” yelled team rocket. Steelix unleashed the Hyperbeam on team rocket and there was a large explosion from Meowth jr.’s pack of explosives. As the smoke cleared they watched as team rocket flew into the sky. “Team Rockets blasting off again!” They heard them yell. “Just like their parents.” Brock said. “Guess I need to call them and tell them their at it again.” Saul looked around and saw that the Pokémon Center took very little damage. “is there anything I can do?” Saul asked Clifton. “No. go take Ralts back home. We can handle this.” He said. At the Saul ran off towards the forest.


   Saul reached the edge of the forest and put Ralts down. “I guess this is good bye?” Saul said sadly. (“You could walk with me to see my mom.”) Ralts said. “Okay! Just as long as she won’t kill me.” Saul said happy that he didn’t have to leave Ralts yet. They walked through the forest for about an hour before they reached the clearing where they met. As they walked into the clearing Gardevoir jumped out of a tree, as she did Saul noticed that she was not colored like most Gardevoir were but had a light shade of blue, she was what people would consider a shiny Pokémon, he must not have noticed that the last time he saw her because he was in such a hurry. (“I was just about to come look for you two.) She said as she hugged Ralts. “Sorry it took so long. We ran into trouble on the way here.” Saul explained. (“well you kept your promise so thank you. By the way where do you live?”) Gardevoir said. “I live here in Pallet town.” Saul answered. (“Really? Most children your age are off on their journey.”) Gardevoir observed. Saul looked at his feet and answered glumly. “I don’t have a Pokémon yet. The local Pokémon professors would give me one but I don’t want one of those for my first Pokémon. And I can’t go without a Pokémon.” (“Oh.”) Gardevoir said. She looked at the sky and said. (“It’s getting time for us to go.”) Saul looked at Ralts and said. “Well I guess this really is goodbye Ralts. I enjoyed talking to you.*sniff*” (“I guess so I enjoyed talking to you too.*sniff*”) She said with a tear in her eye. As Saul began to leave Gardevoir looked between him and Ralts. (“*sigh* All right.”) She said. Saul turned around and looked at her. “What?” He asked. (“Ralts?”) Gardevoir asked Ralts. (“yes?”) she answered. (“how would you like to be Saul’s pokemon?”) She asked her daughter. (“Really?!? I would love to!”) She answered jumping up and down in joy. “Do you mean it?” Saul asked in disbelief. (“Yes I mean it. You two appear to have become good friends and it would be cruel of me to separate you both.”) She answered. Saul ran and hugged Gardevoir. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” He said. (“Your welcome.”) She said after he had let go of her.  (“Just don’t let her get hurt too much. And Ralts? Be good for him. Listen to him when he gives you an order.”) She told them. “Yes Mam!” They both said in unison. After Ralts said goodbye to her mother they both walked off to go see the town’s Pokémon professor.

   As they left the forest Gardevoir watched from the shadow and a tear fell from her eye. “Its hard to let go isn’t it?” A voice asked from behind. She looked behind her in fright at first but relaxed when she recognized the figure. He put his hand on her shoulder. “Its okay. Gallade is waiting at camp.” She nodded and followed the figure back into the forest.


   As they walked towards the lab Saul said to Ralts. “I can’t believe that actually worked.” (“I told you it would.”) She said. They arrived at the lab around lunch. As they walked in they were greeted by a middle aged man in a lab coat. “Saul! So good to see you! And is that a Ralts? Quite a rare Pokémon for this region did you catch it?” the man asked. “Yes sir. I didn’t actually catch it though. We met in the forest and she wanted to be my Pokémon after I took her to the Pokémon center because she was hurt.” He answered. “Have you put it in a pokeball yet? You need to so you have legal ownership.” The man said. “Oh no I didn’t yet.” Saul said in embarrassment. “Well here you go use this one.” The man said as he handed Saul a new Pokeball. “Thank you Professor Ash.”[got you didn’t I?-The Writers] Saul said. After looking to make sure the pokeball was in good condition he threw it at Ralts who was ready to get in. the pokeball captured Ralts and after three shakes clicked shut. “Yes!” Saul yelled. He then grabbed the pokeball and let her out. “How are you?” He asked. (“Worst. Sensation. Ever.”) She answered. “Sorry if you don’t like it I will try to keep you out as much as possible.” He said. (“Thank you.”) She said. “Well its good to see you two already get along so well. And I guess your ready to go on your journey now?” Ash asked. “Yes sir.” Saul Said. “But I will have to go home and get some stuff.” Saul began to turn around to leave. “Well Saul. Your parents knew that when you finally got a Pokémon you would want to leave as soon as possible so they sent backpacks with stuff for you to the lab and the Pokémon center since they would be the first places you would go.” Professor Ash said. “Really? That means I can leave after I call my parents.” Saul said with joy. “Yes it does. And I would call Clifton as well. He has had his Pokémon for a few weeks now but has been waiting on you so you two can go on your journeys together.” The professor said. After calling his parents and Clifton he had lunch with the professor and got ready to leave. As he started to leave the professor caught him. “Hey Saul? Can I ask you a favor?” The professor asked. “Let me guess? You want me to catch as many Pokémon as I can and record them in a pokedex so you can study them.” Saul said. “Yes actually. I want to see how Pokémon have changed since I ended my journey.” He said as he handed him a pokedex. “Yes sir.” Saul said and ran off to the outskirts of the town to meet up with Clifton.

   When he got to the edge of the town he saw Clifton already waiting there with a Mudkip. “Hey Clifton! Nice Mudkip.” Saul said. “Thanks. One of the patients at the pokemon center had an egg and the owner couldn’t take care of the baby so he gave it me.” Clifton said. “Cool. Lets go.” Saul said and they got off.


   After they had gone about 5 miles they heard someone calling. They turned around and saw a red headed girl running towards them. “Do you know her?” Clifton asked Saul. “No.” Saul answered. As she got closer they saw a Azurill and a Pichu on her shoulders trying to stay on as she ran towards them. “Hey Wait.” She said. They stopped and let her catch up. “Thank you.” She said. “Your welcome. Why were you trying to catch up with us?” Saul said. “I heard that there was some more new trainers leaving the town and since there is strength in numbers and hoped I could tag along.” She answered. Saul glanced at Ralts who nodded her head just a little bit to tell Saul she was telling the truth. “That would be fine.” Saul Said. “Thank You! By the Way my name is Wave.” She said as the started walking.

                                                      This Ends Chapter 1

[Wailord]

It is very good.

I would reccomend splitting it into chapters because as a whole it looks rather daunting having such a large block of text. By the time you reach halfway you feel like you want to stop reading further.

Also how come you can type using proper grammer and spelling in this story but not generally on other threads of the forum?

[TrainerX]

 Why can't you use spell check on your other posts?

[DarK_SouL]

If no one tells you the truth you can't do better, Meowth.

[Frenchfry]

Try double spacing the paragraphs. It makes it easier to read.

[Frenchfry]

I make a new thread for each of my installments, but it doesn't particularly matter.

[Jerry]

Tip:
- after a convo, especially if it's in the form of 'convo, non-convo' or 'convo, non-convo, convo' where the non-convo part is something like 'sad someone', 'thought someone', it's small letter (and there is then no full stop in the convo bit).

-> “I wish I had Pokémon” thought Saul. “Even Richard has one.”
-> (“Its okay.”) said Ralts.

[And you can see another mistake here, "its" is the possessive pronoun, while "it's" is the correct word]

- some errors are indeed errors, even if there is a spell check:

-> "Says the Ralts weekly as she Nurse Joy carries her to the medical"

Um... does Ralts say that every week? Of course not!

=> "Says the Ralts weakly as she Nurse Joy carries her to the medical"

That and spacing and it'll be a 10/10 when it concerns language.

Another thing, Firefox has a build-in spell checker. Just saying.

[Desbear]

This is Meowth 2126's big brother for this post. I am currently working on the spacing thing, the actual story was written in Microsoft word and copy and pasted here. when copy and pasting web pages tend to not recognize the spacing used in word documents between paragraphs. with the spelling problem i am not a good speller and tend to not recognize the difference between different spellings of the same words. i wrote the story and all spelling problems are my fault. i will try to fix these problems here and on DeviantArt later. Thank you for the feedback.