Balrok Chronicles

[genbor]

  A/N:  I decided to start a story. It’s not really about Pokémon but I hope you guys will enjoy it. I think I’ll do weekly updates on it If you guys like it enough, if not than that’s that. It’s just a fun story I had in my mind for a while now (around two days or so) and decided to write it and post it. (Could you please send me your reviews in Private Messages so that I could continue the story in this thread without interruption between the posts; thanks.
To summarize the story: It’s about a guy named Elmith. In the Era of Prosperity, Enchanters are completely forgotten and when someone thinks of magic, they think of Elementalists who manipulate their respective elements. The story takes place in the Kingdom of Balrok.
 So anyways, here it is:

Prologue 

  The streets of Ündelan were busy with people bustling about their business. It was the time of the Festivities, where they were celebrating the successful growing of crops. This was the busiest time of the year for Ündelan, since people from all over Balrok visited the small town to enjoy themselves. The usually peaceful little town always went to extremes when it came to enjoying themselves, so they didn’t mind spending coins on anything during these times. This also attracted the performers and merchants, since it was a chance to gain good fortune from the festive locals and guests.
 
  The biggest crowd was gathered around a young man with long brown hair.  He wore a brown coat, green shirt and khaki pants, all of which had been woven from some kind of plants. His feet were bare, even though the weather wasn’t the warmest.  At the moment, he was drawing a some figures into a circle he made on the ground, and seemed to concentrate hard on what he was doing as sweat dripped from his forehead. His bent back straightened after which the audience that was happily chattering with each other now quieted down, and begun to watch in anticipation.
 
  The young man stepped away from the circle, and pointed at it with a staff that was bent to what resembled a straight hook at the end. As soon as he did that, the circle begun glowing in a light blue color, which was followed by a man’s gasp. Elmith smiled and beckoned the man to emerge from the crowd and stand next to the circle. What was in the circle was the cause of the commotion. There was the same man as the one standing next to him exactly mimicking his movements, thus looking completely flabbergasted.
 
  “This,” started Elmith his explanation, “is a complex creation of natural factors. It allows me to make a perfect replica of anything I imagine. Well, perfect to the point of speaking that is.”
  This performance’s most valuable audience proved to be the children gathered at the front of the crowd, who were laughing hard. A girl shyly tugged Elmith’s sleeves and pointed at the replica, and at herself. Elmith laughed and pointed his staff at the circle again. This time a replica of the girl was made, who merrily danced around her other self. The only fault in it was that although it copied movement and shape perfectly, it did not however leave the circle.
 
  Elmith then created many more replicas from the crowd, and ended his performance by creating an Oak tree, after which he sat down under it, took out a flute, and started to play songs on it. People applauded and cheered, and showed their appreciation by throwing a few coins into the hat that was placed on the floor.
 
  As the crowd dispersed, Elmith got up, emptied the now full hat into his purse, and walked into the Festivities to enjoy himself, as well as to eat, since it’s been a while since he ate a decent meal.
There were many more interesting performers present at the Festivities. Some were spouting flames with their breath, others were swallowing swords, and pulling them out without any injury to themselves. Elmith wasn’t interested in them. He walked through the streets full of merchants shouting about prices for their goods, and special offers. One particular thing did catch Elmith’s eye, but after closer inspection, the little carving proved to be unimpressive.
 
  Leaving the noise of the streets, he entered an Inn and ordered some food. The Innkeeper seemed skeptical at first, but after he gave a nudge to his purse the Innkeeper smiled. It seemed he found the clicking of the coins satisfactory and lead Elmith to a secluded table at the corner. The dish that was brought for Elmith contained slices of beef, coated in honey and some potatoes along with vegetables. Elmith found the honey mixed beef strange at first but soon grow to like the taste.
 
  He stayed at the table for a while, ordering a mug of ale while watching the ever growing number of people. After he got tired of laughing at the drunkards arguing and brawling, he bought a room for the night from the Innkeeper, who got one of his barmaids to show him the way. He bid the barmaid good night and slipped a coin into her hands, after which he closed the door and got to work on the door. He drew a circle on it along with some runes, which started to glow as soon as he was finished, this time a dark blue color. As soon as it was done he got out of his clothes, and lay down on the bed to rest.
 
Edited on suggestion: "Try double spacing your paragraphs. It makes everything easier to read." - Frenchfry

[Frenchfry]

*stares at story intently*
Try double spacing your paragraphs. It makes everything easier to read. Also, I wasn't entirely clear in the beginning as to which character Elmith was. It took me a moment to figure out that it was the performer.
*tosses badge to Genbor*
Welcome to the Writing section, son. You might not be perfect, but I look forward to seeing you grow as a writer.

[Jerry]

Indeed, I too will wait for the next part

[zylonnick]

nice work, it has alot of potential.